Pretty Mike’s Detestable Roadshow, By Dele Agekameh
As for this so-called Pretty Mike whose level of bestiality has assumed this unfortunate dimension, the best place for him at this moment is to throw him behind bars and make him remain there until he purges himself of this dehumanising behaviour.
Wonders will never cease. Nigerians have for long been known to be copycats of foreign ideas or behaviours, especially in fashion and other social trends-cum-vices, as practiced in other climes, particularly in Europe and the Americas. Talk of a lawless, morally debased society and Nigeria is increasingly coming into focus.
More than 10 years ago, Nigerian youth caught the bug of the social malaise called ‘sagging’. This is a form of dressing in which a young man or even sometimes a young lady wears on a pair of trousers, otherwise called pants in the United States of America, shorts, knickers or boxers, skips the waistline where the sartorial item is supposed to sit and positions it somewhere between the buttocks and the thighs. This way, the underwear, which is supposed to be tucked secretly beneath the trouser or pant, now plays the ignominious role of being the only clothing item covering the buttocks. The list is endless.
The fact is, there is a growing tendency amongst some Nigerians to attempt to outdo their foreign counterparts in their own rotten and maggoty cultural afflictions, which ordinarily should be alien to our own culture and tradition in Africa. Not long ago, we were caught up in the web of resisting the importation of homosexual practices into the country. Although the government managed to stave off the pressure from some of those who were hell-bent on towing this path, nevertheless it is quite understood that many of these rascals merely disappeared underground to continue the satanic practice.
Many Nigerians were shocked to the marrow last week when the nauseating story of an attention-seeking Nigerian, Mike Eze-Nwalie Nwogu, who goes by the appellation Pretty Mike broke on the social media. Mike or Pretty Mike (you may be wondering how a man, not a woman, describes himself as ‘Pretty’) who is said to be the owner of ‘Club Uno’, located somewhere on Allen Avenue, Ikeja, Lagos, revels in the fantasy of turning young girls into human puppies.
By the way, my only previous idea of a club whose name comes close to being identical to this Pretty Mike’s club’s name was a particular club called ‘Numero Uno’ otherwise known as Number One, located within Bobby Benson Hotel, Jibowu, Lagos and was patronised by Majek Fashek, Black Rice and his Boys quarter Boys who were then based in Ojota, on the outskirts of Lagos about 32 years ago.
From the narrative, 30-year-old ‘Pretty Mike’ appears desirous of standing out in the society even though in a very negative and controversial way. This is possibly why he thinks the best way for him to achieve stardom is by putting young girls on a leash by tying dog chains around their necks while the girls perform the role of human outriders heralding him into important functions in town. His style is to get at least two girls, dressed in the same attire, (known in Owambe parlance as “And-co”), chained up like dogs, who lead him into the venue of functions, while holding their chain leashes like a dog owner would do to his dogs.
His recent appearance created a lot of furore, provoking a huge social media umbrage. The appearance was said to be at a wedding ceremony somewhere in Lagos. For the outing, the girls appeared in pink dresses with their signature black masks and dog chains woven around their necks, while Pretty Mike held on tightly to the leashes. The picture of the parade of madness, particularly showing about five policemen laughing hysterically at the bizarre sight of human dogs and their heartless owner or handler, sparked off a social media war.
Beyond investigating the issue as a criminal offence, as Owoseni said, the security agencies need to do a comprehensive profiling of him to uncover any other form of debilitating behaviour or atrocity he might have committed in the past. He looks more like a dangerous individual who must be tamed before he turns the society into George Orwell’s animal kingdom…
What is not immediately clear is the reason the policemen at the scene of this bizarre occurrence were so amused that they erupted in uncontrollable laughter when, in fact, they should have accosted the shameless boy, made him untie the chains from the neck of his victims and taken him in for questioning. They did not do this. Rather, they turned the whole sickening show into a sort of melodrama. When eventually the Lagos State Government rose up to the occasion by ordering his arrest, all Pretty Mike could say was that he was trying to make a statement on women’s advocacy because “most of the people that have become popular on social media, did so by doing something drastic, different and unique.”
I remember a famous photograph in the 1960’s showing the late flamboyant politician, Chief Festus Okotie-Eboh, otherwise known as Omimiejoh, the then Federal Minister of Finance in the First Republic, moving into a gathering with a long, flowing wrapper worn by a nationality in Delta State, which descended from his shoulder, ran over a distance of 30 metres or more backward and ended up being tied to the neck of a man who appeared to be his slave or house boy. Laughable as the widely-circulated photograph was, it only showed the reckless opulence relished by the political class at that time. Present day politicians are even worse. That could have been an inspiration for Pretty Mike anyway.
Although there may not be any law directly opposed to this type of behaviour, but I think there are laws against public nuisance which can effectively take care of this type of misdemeanour. This is a form of cruelty to fellow human beings simply because of the lure of filthy lucre. It is quite astonishing that due to the general economic meltdown in the society, our women have become easy pawns in the hands of dubious businessmen and women, who are out to capitalise on the growing misfortune of many families in the country to do whatever they like with human beings in exchange for a few naira notes.
The good news is that Fatai Owoseni, the Lagos State Commissioner of Police, said last week that the Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) of Lagos State is already looking into the matter. The fact is that many of our young girls, especially University graduates who are daily roaming the streets of major cities in the country have become vulnerable to the despicable antics of Pretty Mike and his likes. Those of them who are lucky to find jobs either in banks, insurance companies and other blue chip companies, have been turned into glorified prostitutes in order to attract business to their companies at the expense and detriment of the future of these young girls.
Unfortunately, our government or policy makers have deliberately turned a blind eye to all the nonsense going on in the society because, at any rate, most of them are the owners and directors of these blue-chip companies who want to do business regardless of its cost to the health and well-being of these young girls. Many of them also enjoy frolicking with these young girls who are so immature and barely out of sucking feeding bottles. Ironically, these proprietors jealously guide their own teenage daughters back home. If we allow this to continue unchecked, only God knows the type of society Nigeria will become in the foreseeable future.
As for this so-called Pretty Mike who has re-enacted one of the ugly features of the long-abolished slave trade era, the best place for him at this moment is to throw him behind bars until he purges himself of this dehumanising behaviour. He could also be kept in a zoo for some time to atone for his sin against humanity. Beyond investigating the issue as a criminal offence, as Owoseni said, the security agencies need to do a comprehensive profiling of him to uncover any other form of debilitating behaviour or atrocity he might have committed in the past. He looks more like a dangerous individual who must be tamed before he turns the society into George Orwell’s animal kingdom in order to achieve his dream of being widely popular.
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