For the rest of us, we need to believe brave victims of sexual assault who come forward with everything to lose and nothing to gain. For me, I do not need Sugabelly to prove that she has been raped for me to believe her. Women who come out as victims of sexual assault are often not believed. That attitude needs to change. Sexual violence must be condemned. It is up to us, individually, collectively, within the family unit and in the society, we must work to construct positive masculinity and motivate men to challenge attitudes and behaviours that support violence against girls and women.
The issues in Nigeria’s political space are a million conspiracies. When you kill one, another springs up in its stead. How do we begin to educate and civilise those who were born, fed and raised in corrupt power and impunity? How do we begin to tell them that those who have money, power and privilege must obey the law or face the consequences? How do we begin to inculcate the awareness into those who think they can behave anyhow, that they can no longer be at ease and that we will subject them to greater scrutiny? The Mustapha Audu and Lotanna Igwe-Odunze alias Sugabelly story is a peep into the lives of rich, spoiled brats with powerful parents across Nigeria.
According to the common law of common sense, a victim must never be blamed for the actions of a perpetrator. It is NEVER the victim’s fault. The Sugabelly story has been out there for a while but Mustapha Audu ignored it, and did not consider it of any consequence because nothing was at stake. After his father, Prince Abubakar Audu’s death, the story went viral; it drew intense condemnation and disbelief. With attention firmly on his family and their political future, he was forced to offer a rebuttal. His rebuttal was nothing but a tale, an ego trip laced with hollow righteousness, and cocooned indifference. In his nebulous explanation, he fancied himself contemptuously above the lady, her mum and his readers. He even lashed out at those who believed her story.
In their so called “short relationship”, the balance of power was in his hands. He controlled the girl. Sexual assault is a crime with power and control as important components. Sexual assault is any form of sexual contact or behaviour that occurs without the explicit consent of the victim. Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts that involves penetration, fondling or unwanted touching is sexual assault. Mr. Mustapha tried to explain it all away as a short term, consensual affair. Sorry sir, duration is irrelevant here and force may not only be physical. Force in sexual assault can be through manipulation, emotional coercion and psychological force. His dad was a governor at the time and the girl was a minor which in itself is statutory rape. Granted that both of them were dating at the time but history of past intimacy, or other acts like kissing does not grant someone future consent for increased or continued sexual contact. It is acquaintance rape when anyone takes the opportunity of past sexual encounters to initiate a current encounter without consent.
As a society, we must change our perception of sexual assault/rape and victims of it. We must acknowledge that there is a growing culture of sexual violence in Nigeria with mobile telephony and easy access to porn and rising levels of substance abuse. In the past one week on social media, for every message of support Sugabelly gets, there is an accusatory message that either questions her claims or condemns her for coming forward.
While Sugabelly has received a lot of support from notable names like Mrs. Oby Ezekwesili and numerous Nigerians, her story has also elicited derision and backlash on social media. Her tweets, and Mustapha’s belated response insisting that her allegations are false, defamatory and a launchpad for floating an NGO and getting a book deal have split Nigerians. No one except Sugabelly, Mustapha and his gangbangers can know with absolute certainty what happened behind the scene. All we have is her accusation and his feeble denial. As a society, we must change our perception of sexual assault/rape and victims of it. We must acknowledge that there is a growing culture of sexual violence in Nigeria with mobile telephony and easy access to porn and rising levels of substance abuse. In the past one week on social media, for every message of support Sugabelly gets, there is an accusatory message that either questions her claims or condemns her for coming forward. Shame, condemnation and fear of degrading interrogation is the reason why victims of sexual assault do not come forward in the first place.
Since the story gained traction, she has been asked why it took her so long to come forward? Why did she chose to blog and tweet her story instead of reporting it to the police? This girl was a minor at the time! She was dealing with the son of a governor in a country where impunity by the power elite is stratospheric! Which police will interrogate her? The Nigerian police who are not skilled in such cases and totally beholden to the rich, the powerful and the famous? Her not filing a police report right after the sexual assault experience(s) does not mean she is lying. Victims of sexual assault should not be put on trial when they step forward. Their sexual history should not be debated, an assault is an assault. Their alleged abuser should not dictate to us, what we should believe.
Condemn sexual assault, do not give succour to the pervert.
I encourage everyone to read Mustapha’s denial. It is an amusing read. He threatened to sue and make her apologise for defaming him. We should all welcome this. Even if there is no rape kit and no evidence, it will be interesting to see how the witnesses will stand in court. The court should be left to decide the legal ramifications of his denial and her accusation. For now, the choice to believe or to dismiss her story is in our hands. His ego trip, parentage and “orphan” status that he invoked all through his denial should not absolve him of scrutiny. We know how children of the rich and powerful intimidate their peers and behave worse than their parents with the law looking the other way.
For the rest of us, we need to believe brave victims of sexual assault who come forward with everything to lose and nothing to gain. For me, I do not need Sugabelly to prove that she has been raped for me to believe her. Women who come out as victims of sexual assault are often not believed. That attitude needs to change. Sexual violence must be condemned. It is up to us, individually, collectively, within the family unit and in the society, we must work to construct positive masculinity and motivate men to challenge attitudes and behaviours that support violence against girls and women. Condemn sexual assault, do not give succour to the pervert.
Bámidélé Adémólá-Olátéjú maintains a weekly column on Politics and Socioeconomic issues every Tuesday. She is a member of Premium Times‘ Editorial Board. Twitter @olufunmilayo
